Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
