smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
