Sober January is a disaster.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
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He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You may now shotgun with the bride
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So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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