Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
