i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
