Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
