why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's the barista slut.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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