i'm lost and i look like a hooker
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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