careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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