i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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