I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
