I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
