Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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