Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
