when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
