16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
