Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize