I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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