I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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