Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
