i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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