please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
