I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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