Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
