Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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