The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
