I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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