I'm really into asian looking animals
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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