I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You took a bar mat shot.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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