Your face is a jimmy john
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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