i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
