i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They have beer where we have blood.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
