I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's shark week go big or go home
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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