i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
