Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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