Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.