no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy