I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!