You can't special order awesome
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.