i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Farmville is her only friend.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
