She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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