Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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