We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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