I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
