he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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