how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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