The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
