Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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