my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My feet surprised me
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