hotel room ftw
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
