I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
