I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
