Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize