yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
