I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
