this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Drake has all the answers
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
