So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
