capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
