You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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