$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
