I wannas sexs uuuuu
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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