Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize