Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
