It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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