woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
