Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
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So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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