Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
