no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
