Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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