I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
