Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
