The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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