I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
