You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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